My husband and I have been trying to avoid getting bored in our marriage by proactively taking steps to ensure that this doesn’t happen. We have been married 15 years. I am 40 and he is 46. One of the ideas that we came up with was to go dancing at a club like we did when we were younger.
We thought it would be fun to have a contest and see who gets “hit on” the most. We are both good looking for our age, but didn’t quite look like most of the young hip 20s crowd.
After about an hour (and more than a few cocktails), we had enough courage to split up and see who would “win” the bet.
I walked around a bit, saw some appreciative glances in my direction and even managed to get asked to dance. I was feeling pretty good until I saw my husband (with a big goofy grin on his face ) draped in the arms of a woman. Of course, I felt a little pang of jealousy that he so clearly won our bet, but figured fair is fair and let him have his moment of glory. After a few minutes, I strolled over to retrieve him from her clutches. She was very sweet and very pretty and my husband looked like he had just signed with the Yankees.
I told him it was time to go home (hubby looking very triumphant) but as we were walking away, she grabbed us. I thought she was gearing up for a fight, but she giggled and said, “thanks for loaning me your husband. I was trying to get away from a guy that was hitting on me so I told him that your husband was my protective Father and he better stay away.”
I couldn’t stop laughing the entire way home. As you can imagine, that was the last time we went to a club.
My three kids had been begging for a dog for years so this Christmas we finally caved in and decided to buy one. We spent three hours at a nearby shelter “interviewing” all the dogs. There were so many cute dogs, but there was one in particular that crawled into our hearts.
He was a beautiful, soft, golden retriever puppy. The kids were thrilled. We were told to wait until the next day so the dog could have his final checkup. I sent my husband to the shelter bright and early the next morning to pick up our new puppy.
When he got home, we all ran to the car to greet our new family member. To our huge surprise, we were not greeted by a golden retriever puppy but by some large animal that looked like a pit bull. You can imagine the hysteria from the kids. My husband didn’t understand….he said, “what do you mean, this is the same dog.”. We thought he was kidding but the look on his face was pure confusion.
When we not so calmly explained that this fierce looking pit bull type dog wasn’t even close to our cute little retriever puppy, he said he understood and rushed back to the shelter to pickup our dog. We ended up getting the right dog, but who confuses a mangy looking pit bull with a golden retriever puppy?
Our lawnmower has been broken for a few weeks now. My husband has been begging me to consider going to look at and purchase a new one. I want to get him a lawnmower, but something else always seems to break and get in the way first: the car, the truck, the washer, the dryer or the television. It never seems to fail. As soon as we want to go out and purchase a new lawnmower, something else comes up that we need to buy first or that I consider being more important.
One day I came home from work to find my husband trying to plead his case in regards to getting a new lawnmower. He was sitting in our yard cutting grass with a pair of scissors. I went in the house and returned outside a few minutes later with a toothbrush in hand. “Do you think you can sweep the driveway when you are finished with the grass?” I asked handing him the toothbrush. Needless to say, his plea did not get the reaction he wanted.
I woke up and went downstairs, expecting to see a Valentine’s Day card on the kitchen counter. Nothing. Flowers? Nope. Maybe a box of chocolates? Nada. Now, I know some of my friends aren’t that big on Valentine’s Day, but I am–and Pete, my husband, knows it—in fact, he actually proposed on February 14th because he knew how much the day means to me.
No Valentine? This was not good.
Hoping that he planned a secret surprise, I went ahead with my Valentine’s gift (breakfast in bed, a perfect card, and a gift certificate for an hour massage at his favorite spa). I brought everything upstairs, and he just smiled, kissed me and told me to wait. I still remember him saying, “It’s going to be great.”
A few years ago my husband was out of town on business for our anniversary. He said he’d gotten something for me on his trip. He’d come back in town late so we went to lunch the next day. As we leave his office together, his assistant hands him a plastic bag. She was trying to be discreet but I saw it. When it’s time to exchange gifts, he pulls a card and gift out of the same bag his assistant handed him. I know the store where the gift was purchased. There isn’t a store where he was on trip. He didn’t buy anything on that trip! He had his assistant buy my gift and tried to pass it off as his handiwork.
For our anniversary, my husband and I decided to go out for a romantic dinner. When it came time to leave, my husband starting searching frantically for his keys.
“Where’d you leave them?” I asked, genuinely concerned. He usually leaves them on a ring in the kitchen but they were clearly not there. We looked everywhere in the house and my husband kept re-tracking his steps but to no avail.
We were now already an hour late for dinner so we just called and cancelled. We ended up ordering chinese food. My husband went upstairs to change out of his nice clothes and when he came down he had his keys in his hand. Before I could say anything, he looked at me sheepishly and said the keys were in his pocket the whole time. Thankfully we laughed.
It was Saturday—a day of errands for him, and a day of rest for me. At least, that was my plan. I sent my husband off to the mall with our four-year-old twins, Patrick and Teddy. They needed sneakers, fleece gloves and haircuts. The errands were not meant to be challenging.
Off to Fair Oaks they went. They hit Stride Rite and got cool Velcro sneakers. They went to Eddie Bauer and got fleece gloves with hidden “spy” pockets. Then it was time for the haircuts. I had mentioned to Ed that the boys really like Faux-Hawks–you know– when they get the regular boys’ haircuts, and then spike the middle to resemble a Mohawk for the day?
They went to Cartoon Cuts, the haircut place for kids. Apparently, Ed did not pay very close attention to my words (shocking). He signed the boys in and told the stylists that they wanted the kind of cut where the hair was spiked in the middle. “Mohawks?” The stylists asked in unison. “Yeah—that’s it.” So, they went to work. They shaved and shaved both sides of both heads. Pretty soon, all that was left was the long patch of hair down the middle of each boy’s head.
Ed shifted a little uncomfortably in his seat in the waiting room. Hmmm. That was not quite what he meant. But, he plastered a grin on his face and gave his sons a double thumbs up.
But, boy…did I have some choice words for him when he got home that day!
I own a business, and I am on Linked In. I have a profile with a couple hundred connections. I am not really an active user, but I read it whenever I get updates, and it is important for my business, as I can research potential new hires, vendors and service providers.
My husband is new to Linked In. He has a profile with a couple of skills listed, as well as a few connections.
Yesterday, I received several email notifications. “You have received an endorsement on Linked In”–five separate times. I read the emails more closely. They were endorsements from my husband! How embarrassing is that? I have no endorsements from people I have actually worked with, but I now have five, and they are all from him.
When I asked him, “Why?” he simply smiled and said that he thought it was like “friending” someone on Facebook. Ugh. Super mortifying.